it’s His story…

Today I realized something.  I knew it already but someone that cares for me put it into words.  I am a people-pleaser.  And for me, that’s not something I want to be.  I realized it a few years ago when I never had time for myself.  If someone asked me to do something, I didn’t want to say “no”.  So I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off.  I even picked up the book “Boundaries” but rea the first chapter and told myself that I did have boundaries.  I started being what I thought was selfish, but realized that I was really just setting boudaries and taking care of myself instead of everyone around me.
Well, something happened recently and instead of doing what was right for me, I wanted to please the people around me and not be different than them.  I was more concerned about them liking me, so I ended up being “of this world” instead of being like Jesus.  Was it my choice?  Absolutely, and I take full responsibility for it.  Was/am I sorry for it happening?  Absolutely- and I know I was harder on myself than anyone else could have been.  Would I make the same mistake again? Although you aren’t supposed to say “never”, I am thinking that.  With God’s help and strength where I am weak, I pray that I never ever do it again.
It is through my weaknesses that God shines through.  God doesn’t look for perfection… He works thru those who are imperfect to show He works miracles.  He has worked so many already in my life and I know He will continue working in me until that day that I am with Him in Heaven.  I love Maya Angelou’s poem “Christians”.  Here it is…

Christians - By Maya Angelou

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I’m not shouting “I’m clean livin’.”
I’m whispering “I was lost,
Now I’m found and forgiven.”

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I don’t speak of this with pride.
I’m confessing that I stumble
and need Christ to be my guide.

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I’m not trying to be strong.
I’m professing that I’m weak
And need His strength to carry on.

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I’m not bragging of success.
I’m admitting I have failed
And need God to clean my mess.

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I still feel the sting of pain.
I have my share of heartaches
So I call upon His name.

When I say…”I am a Christian”
I’m not holier than thou,
I’m just a simple sinner
Who received God’s good grace, somehow!

I am no where near perfect.  I hope that no one ever expects perfection from me.  I strive every day to do what God wants me to do, so that my actions glorify Him.  At times I may fall; I ask Him for forgiveness and I grab His hand as He pulls me back up.  God’s forgiveness is like nothing I’ve ever experienced- it’s non-judgemental, it’s limitless in love, and so amazing.
Through all of this, I’ve re-learned a very valuable lesson.  I’m here to please God only and to worship Him alone, with all that I am and all that I have.  Things of this world will one day be gone and God is the only One who truly matters.  So as long as I am doing what He wants for me, I’m doing the best that I can.  Even if I am the one who isn’t part of the crowd or doing what is society expects of me.  And you know what?  I’m totally okay with that- I’ve lived that life and it’s not a life at all.  It’s only when the cross is in the center of my vision that I am living a true and abundant life.

Are you a people-pleaser or a God-pleaser?